Thursday, July 24, 2008

My Love/Hate relationship with Monogamy/Polyamory (but mostly my Love of Polygamy)

I appreciated this article by Tristan Taormino in today's Village Voice, "What If the Bachelorette Was Polyamorous?"

I wish we would talk about this stuff more, but I guess (I hope) we're beginning to. I mean, Margaret Mead identified marriage and that whole hetero-normative trap as outdated and anti-evolutionary back in the beginning of the last century. So how come it's taking us so long to have meaningful conversations about this stuff as a society? I guess because open non-monogamy is so taboo and thus difficult and messy, and because we're so invested in the patterns and the advantages of monogamy to the great institution of patriarchy etc. Dealing with these questions is what has given me my biggest growth spurts as a person, i.e. dealing with my jealousy/love/hate/envy/pain/joy repeatedly in ways that beat me up and also allow me to experience life fully. I am very grateful for this- I wouldn't want it any other way. But it's not easy, and I hope I can have the guts, and I hope that we all can have these conversations together, that it becomes less taboo to talk about these things openly.

I have a friend who has found herself in a situation where she is very immediately faced with all of these issues. And it is SO inspiring to me, like it gives me goosebumps, excited about our collective human growth goosebumps. She and the two people she's involved with are tackling all this stuff head on, really working it out rather than running away from it or giving up. I think they're so brave and awesome- I venerate them.

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